Girlfriends from High School

College Kids,

I'm a freshman in college but I still have my girlfriend from home. Is this a good idea?

Nick
19 Years Old
New Jersey


Nick,

This is one of the hardest questions that a college freshman can face. We can't give you an answer on whether or not you should stay together but we can give you some input based on our personal experiences.

Out of all the college kids, four of us had girlfriends going into college. Two of us had been in a relationship for almost a year, one for over 6 months, and one for only days. Now we are all in our junior years and only the couple that started dating just before leaving for school is still together. Out of the other three, two lasted all of freshman year and the other lasted through sophomore year. None broke up just because they were away at college, most actually happened during the summer.

Trust - If you haven't been dating a while or just don't have much trust yet it could be an issue. You are going to have more freedom than ever and will get to know many more people. If you can't trust each other, it will never work. Ironically, only the couple that started dating right before leaving to go to school is still together.

Visiting - Long distance relationships can work but they are extremely difficult. If you cannot see each other at least every few weeks it may be too difficult. The less you see each other the more you have to communicate.

Communication - In order to make a long distance relationship work you are going to have to communicate. Instant messenger and text messages are okay but if you don't talk on the phone for a while every day you're likely to drift apart and that will be the beginning of the end.

Being Spontaneous - When you're apart and in a long distance relationship it's easy to get stuck in a boring pattern where you say and do the same things all the time. Make sure you surprise each other, send some mail, gifts, or flowers, anything will help.

These are just some simple pieces of advice but the main thing is to never get discouraged and to never give up! If you really want the relationship to succeed you can make it happen. It will never be easy but remember, that's not what it's about.

Good luck!

The College Kids